writch's wramblings

Frank S.ent the AARP eyechart for Men

From Al Dente

An old man walks into a church, and goes for a confession.

The priest pulls back the window, and the old man says: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I am 80 years old, and I was walking home from the library the other day when two college girls stopped their car and said they were on spring break and needed directions. We got into a discussion and they offered to drive me home and on the way one of them asked me the last time I'd had sex. I told them it had been years, and she said, "Would I like to have some fun?" and before I knew it the three of us were in my apartment. I had the most magnificent sex for two nights and two days.

They're still there waiting for me and promised they'd show me things I never even knew a man and woman could do, and that's why I've come to confession."

The priest asks, "When was the last time you went to confession?"

The old man says, "Actually, this is the first time."

"You're 80 years old, and this is your first confession? Why now?"

The old man says, "Because I'm Jewish."

The priest asks, "In that case, why are you telling me?"

The old man says, "Telling you?....I'm telling everybody."

South Park Suicide

Kyle: You're still here?
Stan: You didn't kill yourself?

Cartman: I tried. I went to sleep in my mom's car in the garage with the engine running. Damn hybrids just don't do it for me anymore.

Chocolate News In Albuquerque

Attention Tree

From Troll

It IS Sort of Accurate

As the Steph Miller folks put it, we took rights away from humans and gave them to chickens.

And it was the Maroons and the Catlicks that did Daniel's share of the work.

Absolutely Silly

I guess the show never made it, but this commercial is freakin' hilarious. Spock's Crib, from Trek 2.0:

Star Trek Cribs - The Director's Cut